Monday, December 12, 2016

Blog Post 14

In chapters three and four Gatsby is built up as a mysterious character, with much speculation and rumors from characters about his past and the reason behind his fortune such as some people thinking he comes from a wealthy background and others suspecting is a bootlegger. When he is finally introduced in chapter three he seems very confident and charismatic, making him more mysterious. His shady background is further implied because of his association with Wolfsheim and him going to the secret speakeasy. In chapter five we see his more sensitive and vulnerable side, and his confident facade drops away, as he wants to reunite with Daisy but he is embarrassed and reluctant about it, with him being described as "pale as death, with his hands plunged like weights in his coat pockets... glaring tragically into my eyes." (Fitzgerald 86). This makes him seem like a completely different person compared to the Gatsby seen in chapters three and four, and suggests that his confidence is just an act and that he is more down to Earth than he appears, despite his fortune. It humanizes him as it shows that all his actions in the book were motivated by a desire to reunite with Daisy, and shows what a sensitive and loving person he is, and also makes him a sort of tragic character, as he was separated from someone he really loved only to find out that she got married. Gatsby is portrayed as a likable and sympathetic character, and makes the readers want him to win and get together with Daisy again, as he seems to be a much more pleasant person compared to Tom. Daisy is also portrayed as tragic, as she was separated from someone who treated her well and is now stuck with a cheating husband.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Blog Post 13

The fact that we learn about Nick's through Tom suggests that Nick is not very assertive or confident or maybe that he is not the main character, and that he is just there to observe and narrate the story. This could also be supported by the title of the book as it implies it is about someone named Gatsby.
In the first chapter there is a lot of symbolism concerning white and red. White suggests wealth because of its association with cleanliness, and is used to describe the mansion, while red is a vibrant color and is associated with roses which suggests romance.

What we learn about Tom is that he seems to be an unpleasant person, as he is described as having "two shining arrogant eyes" (Fitzgerald 7), has never seen his own child, and is a racist, as he says "It's up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things." (Fitzgerald 13). Daisy is described as sweet, but she also seems very cynical as she says "I'm pretty cynical about everything." (Fitzgerald 16), and that she hopes that her daughter will be a fool as well as saying says "I think everything's terrible anyhow", which shows she has a very pessimistic outlook and suggests she is unhappy or depressed about her marriage with Tom.

Jordan seems to like drama and gossip as she tells Nick about Tom having an affair with someone and she plays in golf tournaments.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Post 12

Slaughterhouse Nine is written in a circular pattern because it keeps alternating through Billy's life. The story also keeps alternating between his time as a prisoner of war in World War II, and multiple periods of his life after the war, such as his time captive on Tralfamador. Also in the first chapter at the end it says "It begins like this: Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. It ends like this: Poo-tee-weet?" (Vonnegut 28), which shows the circular pattern and its lack of a strictly linear narrative by telling how it begins and ends. The overall structure of the novel is circular, but it is a bit erratic as there does not seem to be a pattern when the story is jumping around.

At first it does not seem that Billy matures much throughout the novel, as he remains his dim, clueless self, but after his time in the war he is committed to an institution because he is suffering from trauma from the war, and after his kidnapping by the Tralfamadorians he seems to overcome this with a new perspective on death. This seems to be catharsis for him as it allows him to be happy and not worry or fear about his death despite knowing exactly when it is going to happen. The jumping around from moment to moment could be a metaphor for having PTSD and flashbacks, and is what propels the story rather than character development, as there is no continuity between events due to the nature of it jumping about.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Blog Post 11

The Tralfamadorian concepts of time and death are that time is a physical dimension like forwards and backwards, and can be viewed from multiple angles and as single moments, instead of a continuously advancing line. Since every moment happened at some point in time, its permanent, instead of temporary, as it will always have existed at some point, so from a non linear perspective of time, everything lasts forever. This ties into their perspective of death, since although everyone dies, since they were alive at some point, from a non linear perspective they are always alive at some points, and death is just another point. There is no meaningful difference or order to the points, so to them it is equally valid to say someone is still alive even after they have died. 

The Earthling understanding is that once someone has died, they are gone forever, since the moments in time when they were alive have already past. This makes sense from an Earthling perspective as humans cannot travel backwards through time, so once a person is dead there is no way to reach the moments when they were alive, so for all intents and purposes they are gone for good. 

Billy thinks proliferating the Tralfamadorian perspective helps because it makes people understand that even though they may not be able to access the points in time when a person who is dead was alive, the moments when they were alive still exists from an objective point of view, and is not gone. This way no one is ever truly dead. This would help people get over grief and give them a more positive understanding of death, as people who are dead still are alive technically.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Blog Post 10

Vonnegut probably chose to make his account the first chapter because he wanted to make sure the reader knew the background of the book and its context. Making it the first chapter would ensure that it would not be skipped, and also it serves to explain that the book is coming from an anti-war perspective. Also parts of the chapter serve as humorous anecdotes, such as his wife not dealing with him when he is drunk.

The three attitudes about war in the chapter are that of Harrison Starr's, who thinks it is pointless to write against wars, as they are inevitable, Mary O'Hare's, who is disgusted with the idea of glorifying war and the men who participate it so that others are discouraged about going to war, and Vonnegut's boss, who was a lieutenant colonel, and a tough guy, who mocks him for not being an officer, which shows that he glorifies the military to some degree. His boss's view is supported by the quote, "He used to ask me sneeringly sometimes why I hadn't been an officer, as though I'd done something wrong" (Vonnegut 13).

My own view would be closest to Mary O'Hare's, as I do not believe war or fighting in wars should be glorified, nor should the soldiers be idolized or made out to be things they are not, but at the same time I believe that violence is sometimes necessary to achieve things that peace cannot, and should not always be completely dismissed, but should always be a last resort.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Blog Post 9

Guitar's lack of faith in Milkman is because he is suspicious as to why Milkman would want to go and get the gold alone, especially because Milkman has never done anything by himself. In the past they did everything together, so Guitar suspects that he wants to go alone to cheat him out of the gold.
This is supported by the passage "Guitar was watching him carefully. "What's the matter?
 he added. "Why you so low? You don't act like a man on his way to the end of the rainbow."" (Morrison 221). This shows that he was suspicious about him going alone, as he was was asking him why he was not happy about getting the gold by himself, and was watching him carefully while asking this, as if suspicious about his intentions.
 This is believable as Guitar's growing increasingly paranoid and cynical about everything and everyone, and it makes sense that this would also apply to Milkman when he starts acting strange. They have been growing apart because Guitar's role in the Seven Days has horrified Milkman, and the two feel like they can no longer trust each other. Also his childhood has shaped him significantly as he had to deal with his father's death and how it ruined his family. He ha s cynical view of others because of when the foreman paid his family a small amount of money instead of life insurance to compensate for his father's death. This passage supports this: "It wasn't the divinity from the foreman's wife that made him sick. That came later. It was the fact that instead of life insurance, the sawmill owner gave his mother forty dollars to "tide you and them kids over," and she took it happily" (Morrison 224).

Sunday, November 6, 2016

blog post 8

I think its rather interesting how Milkman wanted to distance himself as much as possible from from his father, even purposefully trying to have different habits early in the book, but as he gets older, he acts more and more like Macon, until Lena calls him out on this. Surprisingly, it did not seem to have much an impact on him, so he must have become comfortable enough with himself that he does not care. 
Guitar is becoming more and more of a sociopath. While he probably thinks he has noble intentions, such as casual disregard for human life is horrific, and although he targets white people, his logic could easily be used to kill black people who try to stop him.

What is the significance of Milkman's journey? Why is Macon so preoccupied with the gold when he is already wealthy? Does the gold symbolize anything? Did Macon Sr's ghost keep appearing to his children because he was not buried properly? How is Circe so old and still alive? Does this play into the magical realism?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Blog Post 7

The conflict between reality and appearance in Corinthians is that she is pretending to be a secretary when in reality she is actually just a maid and lying to her family about it. She avoids the other maids, and when she goes to work she disguises her job by wearing heels and not carrying any maid uniform, but once she enters Miss Grahams house she changes into her uniform. This is supported by the quotes "She avoided the other maids on the street, and those whom she saw regularly on the bus assumed that she had some higher household position than theirs since she came to work in high-heeled shoes" (Morrison 189).
She also secretly has a relationship with Porter, wanting to keep it secret from her father. She ultimately chooses reality over her appearance, deciding to go to his place. She does it because if she did not Porter would leave her and likely never see her again, and she would be unloved for the rest of her life. "In a sudden flash she knew he was never going to see her again, and the days rolled out before her like a dingy gray carpet in an unfurnished, unpeopled hall-for-rent" (Morrison 195).
This results in Milkman telling Macon about it and Macon forcing her to quit her job, be forbidden from leaving the house and seeing Porter, effectively ruining her life. This is shown in the quote "He has forbidden her to leave the house, made her quit her job" (Morrison 215).

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Blog Post 6

There are multiple instances in the chapter where Pilate is associated with magic. Milkman miraculously survives a murder attempt from Hagar, despite being struck in the collarbone. Hagar is also unable to to kill him, as she is somehow paralyzed. This is shown in the quote "Try as she might, the ball joint in her shoulders would not move" (Morrison 130).
All this happened after Milkman wished to a higher power to spare him. Pilate prepared a magic concoction to get Macon to get Ruth pregnant, where Ruth says "She gave me funny things to do. And some greenish-gray grassy looking stuff to put in his food" (Morrison 125). Another instance where she may have used magic is on the doll that she gave to Macon as a threat, which took nine attempts to fully be burned, even with alcohol, which was shown in the quote "Macon knocked it out of the chair and with a yardstick pushed it into the bathroom, where he doused it with alcohol and burned it. It took nine separate burnings before the fire got down to the straw and cotton ticking of its insides" (Morrison 132). Another instance involving magic is when she and Macon saw the ghost of her father after he was murdered. The magical aids she used to achieve her goals were to get Ruth pregnant and protect Milkman throughout his time in the womb, as well as save his life from Hagar. Her magic is not always benevolent, as what Macon drank allowed Ruth to take advantage of him, which would be rape, as Macon was coerced because he was under the influence. She seems to have an ends justify the means attitude in regards to her actions surrounding Milkman's birth.

Monday, October 31, 2016

Post 5

In the chapter, multiple crimes are mentioned. A teenager was strangled and had his head bashed in. A murder of another teenager in a similar fashion also occurred New Years day. Four men had also been killed in a similar way. The chapter also mentions Winnie Ruth Judd and her murders, whom the people suspected was behind the recent murders, as well Sam Sheppard murdering his wife. Emmett Till's murder, is mentioned as well.
The crimes that really happened were Winnie Ruth Judd's murders, Emmett Till's murder, and Sam Sheppard murdering his wife. The deaths of the teenagers and the four men were fiction.
The impact of interweaving the fiction of the novel with real events is that it grounds it and makes it feel more realistic, as if the events of the novel actually happened. This helps immerse the reader and make them emotionally connect with what is happening in the novel. An example of this is shown in the quote "In the poolrooms and in Tommy's Barbershop, the word was that Winnie Ruth Judd had struck again. The men laughed about it and repeated for the benefit of newcomers the story of how, in 1932, Winnie Ruth Judd had struck again" (Morrison 99). This blends real events with fiction, and makes the story feel more historical. Another example is demonstrated in the quote "The police said there had been a witness who thought he saw a "bushy-haired Negro" running from the schoolyard where the body was found. "The same bushy-haired Negro they saw when Sam Sheppard axed his wife" (Morrison 100). Once again, this quote ties together real events and incorporates them into the plot, making it more realistic.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

The symbolism of the limp is that he does not feel adequate and that he feels out of place. It also shows his broken image of himself and of his self worth. This quote shows this: "he acquired movements and habits to disguise what to him was a burning defect" (Morrison 62).
In the mirror Milkman sees himself as handsome, but lacking coherence and decisiveness. He feels aimless and directionless in life. This is shown in the quote "it was all very tentative, the way he looked, like man peeping around a corner of someplace he is not supposed to be, trying to make up his mind" (Morrison 69-70).
Milkman's self of self identity is skewed because he realizes that his mother does not really love him but saw him as a toy, and that other than Guitar he starts questioning all his relationships and thinks he has no connection to anyone in his family. This is supported by the quote "Now he questioned them. Questioned everybody" (Morrison 79) and "His mother had been portrayed not as a mother who simply adored her only son, but as an obscene child playing dirty games with whatever male was near" (Morrison 79).
This must have severely damaged his sense of self identity and self worth, as he feels isolated and that nobody cared about him for who he was. This is supported by the quote "He wondered if there was anyone in the world who liked him. Liked him for himself alone" (Morrison 79).

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Blog Post 3

Milkman was drawn to Pilate's house because he was fascinated by all the stories surrounding Pilates and his father banning him from visiting so he and Guitar chose to go to get some answers. This is supported by the quote "All those unbelievable but entirely possible stories about his father's sister- the woman his father had forbidden him to go near- had both of them spellbound" (Morrison 36).
He was also interested in finding more about his past. This is supported by the quote "at twelve met the boy who not only could liberate him, but could take him to the woman who had as much to do with his future as she had his past" (Morrison 36).

Milkman and Guitar observe Pilate's mannerisms, such as her gravelly voice,  the smell, the bright light through the windows. "Pervading everything was the odor of pine and fermenting fruit" (Morrison 39).
They also observe her daughter Reba and grand daughter Hagar, which Milkman becomes enamored with. "But Milkman had no need to see her face; he had already fallen in love with her behind" (Morrison 43).

Milkman acts differently when he suddenly defends his and his family's name, despite being usually quite and reserved. He feels pride in his family. "Milkman, who had been unable to get one word out of his mouth after the foolish "Hi," heard himself shouting: "I'm a Dead! My mother's a Dead! My sisters. You and him ain't the only ones!"" (Morrison 38).

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Crucible Portfolio Act Four

Literary Term
Tragedy-A play dealing with tragic events building up and resulting in a disaster at the end.
"HALE: Woman, plead with him! He starts to rush out the door, and then goes back to her. Woman! It is pride, it is vanity. She avoids his eyes, and moves to the window. He drops to his knees. Be his helper! –what profit him to bleed? Shall the dust praise him? Shall the worms declare his truth? Go to him, take his shame away" (Miller 1334).
This quote is significant because it shows Hale pleading with Elizabeth right before Proctor is to be taken away to be executed. It's the culmination of the tragedy, where the main character is about to be killed. It shows that Elizabeth has already come to terms with what is going to happen, and Hale's futile attempt to stop it. It adds a somber tone, as it shows that no matter what, Proctor is going to die, and was probably added to make the reader understand that it was certain.

Quote
PROCTOR, with a cry of his whole soul: Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life. Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul, leave me my name! (Miller 1333).
This quote develops the plot as John Proctor decides to sacrifice himself and be executed, rather than falsely confess. This quote has thematic significance as it ties back to the concept of reputation and name that is established throughout the play. John Proctor realizes that if he confesses for witchcraft, which he is innocent of, he will be ruining his name. Also since many that were hanged did not confess, it would be dishonoring them by saying they were guilty. Ultimately he chooses to die, and save his name rather than do this. By doing this he gets to die with the moral high ground and spares his family from enduring shame.

Character
Judge Danforth
Description: Self righteous, obsessed with threats, paranoid, foolish, old, serious.
Purpose: He serves as a secondary antagonist to John Proctor, trying to hang the people accused of witchery or force them to confess, including his wife. He later turns against John as well.
Outcome: He has Proctor arrested and tried and tries to force him to confess, and when he refuses, has him hanged.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Crucible Portfolio Act 3

Literary Term
Allegory-A narrative that contains a literal meaning and a hidden meaning that is a commentary.
"Giles, hesitates, then: Why, I - I cannot give you his name. Hathorne: And why not? Giles, hesitates, then bursts out: You know well why not! He'll lay in jail if I give his name!" (Miller 1299).
This is an allegory because it represents Miller facing the House Un-American Committee and refusing to name people who he knew were part of the communist party. This is significant because the whole play serves as an allegory for the Red Scare and mass hysteria and paranoia in general. It was incorporated because it was these events that inspired the play.

Quotation
"Danforth, reaches out and holds her face, then: Look at me! To your own knowledge, has John Proctor ever committed the crime of lechery? In a crisis of indecision she cannot speak, Answer my question! Is your husband a lecher! Elizabeth, faintly: No, sir." (Miller 1311).
This quote develops the plot as it ruins Proctor's argument that Abigail and the girls are lying about witchcraft, as well as dooms him. This also is ironic, as if she had told the truth instead of deciding to try to protect John's reputation then it would have protected him. This has thematic significance as it contributes to the theme of the play concerning the role of reputation in their lives. Elizabeth, who was considered to always tell the truth and never lies, ends up lying. This is done to try to protect John's reputation, showing what she is willing to do to save it. This also shows that reputation is considered more important than faith, which is a major theme, because she breaks a commandment by lying.

Character
John Proctor
Description: Tall, handsome, no nonsense, adulterer, hypocrite.
Purpose: He is the protagonist as he tries to expose Abigail for being a fraud and prove his wife's innocence as well as others who are tried by the court.
Outcome: John Proctor has a mental breakdown and denounces the town before being falsely arrested for being a witch.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Portfolio Crucible Act Two

Literary Term
Irony: a sentence that has a literal meaning and an implied meaning that is opposite to the literal meaning.

"Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor s goods, nor make unto thee any graven image. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain; thou shalt have no other gods before me. With some hesitation: Thou shalt remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy. Pause. Then: Thou shalt honor thy father and mother. Thou shalt not bear false witness. He is stuck. He counts back on his fingers, knowing one is missing. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image" (Miller 1277).
This quote is a demonstration of irony, as Proctor is trying to prove he is a good Christian by listing his commandments, but is unable to list the commandment about adultery. This is ironic because Proctor previously cheated on his wife Elizabeth with Abigail.

Quotation

"Why, Abigail Williams charge her" (Miller 1281). This quote solidifies Abigail's position as the antagonist and turns John Proctor into the protagonist.
This is because Abigail is now trying to get Elizabeth hanged and has succeeded in getting her arrested. John Proctor is now in the position of trying to save her life and expose Abigail for fraud. This develops the plot because a clear conflict is presented, with Abigail against Proctor. This has thematic significance as one of the themes of the crucible is reputation, and Proctor must now clear his wife's reputation, and is struggling with his own reputation being tarnished by cheating with Abigail. Also he must expose Abigail and destroy her reputation as a righteous person who is cleansing the village of evil.

Character

Abigail Williams
Description: Jealous, vindictive, manipulative, young, beautiful.
Purpose: She is the antagonist of the story, using the hysteria over witches to try to get Elizabeth Proctor hanged so she can be with John.
Outcome: Elizabeth Proctor gets arrested for witchcraft.

Portfolio Crucible Act Two

Literary Term
Irony: a sentence that has a literal meaning and an implied meaning that is opposite to the literal meaning.

"Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor s goods, nor make unto thee any graven image. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain; thou shalt have no other gods before me. With some hesitation: Thou shalt remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy. Pause. Then: Thou shalt honor thy father and mother. Thou shalt not bear false witness. He is stuck. He counts back on his fingers, knowing one is missing. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image" (Miller 1277).
This quote is a demonstration of irony, as Proctor is trying to prove he is a good Christian by listing his commandments, but is unable to list the commandment about adultery. This is ironic because Proctor previously cheated on his wife Elizabeth with Abigail.

Quotation
"Why, Abigail Williams charge her" (Miller 1281). This quote solidifies Abigail's position as the antagonist and turns John Proctor into the protagonist.
This is because Abigail is now trying to get Elizabeth hanged and has succeeded in getting her arrested. John Proctor is now in the position of trying to save her life and expose Abigail for fraud. This develops the plot because a clear conflict is presented, with Abigail against Proctor. This has thematic significance as one of the themes of the crucible is reputation, and Proctor must now clear his wife's reputation, and is struggling with his own reputation being tarnished by cheating with Abigail. Also he must expose Abigail and destroy her reputation as a righteous person who is cleansing the village of evil.

Character
Abigail Williams
Description: Jealous, vindictive, manipulative, young, beautiful.
Purpose: She is the antagonist of the story, using the hysteria over witches to try to get Elizabeth Proctor hanged so she can be with John.
Outcome: Elizabeth Proctor gets arrested for witchcraft.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Literary Term
Antithesis: Using two lines with contrasting meanings to create a balance between the opposite qualities. "Her concentrated desire destroys his smile." (Miller 1246)
Thid line is used by Miller as an antithesis.The significance of this line is that it highlights Abigail's desire and love for Proctor, and shows his disdain towards her affection. This serves to establishes the relationship between Proctor and Abigail and hints at their past relationship.

Quotation Elation
 "This woman must be hanged! She must be taken and hanged!" (Miller 1260). This quote develops the plot as it shows how the events that are unfolding have high stakes significance, as it becomes a matter of life and death for Tituba. 
This is because if she does not "confess", Tituba will be killed for being a witch. This shows that the characters are in danger of being killed for their acts in the forest and that it is no game. This also shows the air of hysteria and paranoia that is developing in Salem. This quote demonstrates that the people are turning against each other as it would lead Tituba to naming innocent people to save her life. The fact that a life already is one the line foreshadows that other characters may end up dead and that Putnam, who uttered the line, is already consumed by fear, which may soon spread and end up causing more deaths.

Characters
Reverend Parris
Description: Self serving, self centered, widower, middle aged.
Purpose: He serves to get the plot started, as he discovers the girls dancing in the woods and summoning Parris to Salem.
Outcome: He summons reverend Hale to investigate if his daughter's comatose state is caused by witchcraft.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Blog 2 Assignment

I enjoyed the Well-Baked Man. This is because I felt it was an interesting version of the creation myth that is present in so many cultures and religions. It explained why there were different races, as well as why dogs exist. I find this fascinating as the Magician parallels God in the judeo-christian religions, and there seemed to be some Christian elements present in the theme such as the creation of man and woman in the creator's image and that in the story humanity has a singular creator.

There are numerous Native American oral tradition convention present in the story. One of these are that humans have a kinship with animals, which is shown when the Magician accidentally created dogs. The dog had been an attempt at a man that was altered by the Coyote, but the Magician decided to make dogs the companion of humans. The kinship is shown that both humans and dogs were made out of clay and in the same manner by the Magician, and since the other races of man were created in the oven, it ties dogs to humanity as a whole.

 Another convention present is that of animals and man being equal. Since the dog was created similar to the man, and also since the Magician says that animals and dogs will be companions to each other, the story implies that dogs and humans are equal.

Another convention is that of the Coyote being a trickster, being responsible for the creation of dogs and human races because of a joke he pulled on the Magician.

I am familiar with the traditional creation myth of Adam and Eve from the Bible, where God made man and then woman from man's rib. I am also familiar with the "creation myth" made by J.R.R Tolkein for Lord of the Rings, which he intended to be a sort of mythology for England. In the book the Silmarillion, the supreme god Eru Iluvatar created angels known as the Ainur, who then together sang into existence the world, elves and humans. While elves were made immortal, Eru Iluvatar gave humans the Gift of Man, which was mortality.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Creative Therapy Assignment

1) What was the cause of the bad experience?
During a middle school trip to Washington DC in May 2015, I injured my right knee after tripping on an escalator at the Smithsonian. A friend of mine and I were looking for our assigned group after taking a break to look at the gift shop when we decided to go up the escalator to the top floor. Failing to find our group, we started going back down when we saw our group emerge from an exhibit on the top floor. My friend did not want to wait to go down and back up again so he went up the down escalator. I despite my better judgement, knew that I would probably lose my group if I went all the way down first so I followed him, tripping and gashing my knee on the edge of the staircase. It started bleeding a lot, painting my lower pants leg red in blood in only a few seconds, and was excruciatingly painful. I spent the remaining day of the trip in intense pain.


2) What was lost?
I was unable to bend my knee for several months, having to keep it in a brace to allow it to heal and prevent further damage to the kneecap. A small fragment of the kneecap had been chipped off. It was painful, with the dull pain persisting for weeks, and the brace was uncomfortable. I also made my ankle sore from not being able to bend my knee, which hurt a lot. I was unable to run. It was a very unpleasant experience in all.


3) What was your initial reaction?
I was initially angry with myself for doing such a stupid thing, ignoring the pain, which felt like it was going away. It would return several hours after the injury and would become excruciating. I was also worried about the bleeding, which had ruined my pants. I wanted to cry but I was forced to be stoic because I did want to draw anymore attention to myself than I already had.


4) How did your feelings about this bad experience change as time passed?
I was initially frustrated and angry and I blamed myself. While I still blame myself, after all it was my fault, I am no longer angry and have largely forgotten the ordeal. Sometimes my knee will pop and I have a rather unsightly scar, but I have put it behind me. I now feel unsafe around escalators and stairs, but considering it is just one of many fears and anxieties I have it is no big deal. I do not really think about it.
5) What did you learn/gain from this experience?

I am much more careful around stairs and escalators, and I gained a new appreciation about being able to walk. Considering that I do not play sports and I largely lead a sedentary lifestyle I had taken for granted my legs, When the brace came off I was happy to be able to run and walk normally.